No one comes to me because no one needs me.
My dog needs me and sometimes when I feel low like this I convince myself I should stay because of her.
Her and my sister and the few I consider family.
And I know I have no reason to feel so sad and empty.
But the few people of the male persuasion that I’ve chosen to give my love and part of myself to don’t need me. Don’t want me snd would not even notice if I died.
That still hurts even if I’m “over” the three of you. I still dream sometimes about you.
I think what if, what if. And it eats me alive, these daydreams.
I don’t write this bullshit for anyone but myself.
And I’m always secretly hoping the person I’m talking to will somehow read this and see this. Because then they care right?
But if you cared in the first place. I don’t know if I’d even feel the need to even write this.
I really want to meet someone worth my fucking time.
And your condescending tone and your sympathetic “I’m sorry I’m so hot you still want to fuck” or “I’m sorry you’re still in love with me aw hun that’s flattering that’s cute you’ll find someone”
I don’t fucking need you to tell me I’ll find someone. I want to find someone. Even if it’s just someone to fuck because that’s all I want right now. I’m sick of this feeling shit and texting and talking. Fuck me and leave. I’m sick of them all. As far as I’m concerned the only thing I want from a man is his dick. I’ve become bitter. Oh well.
“We’re so bad at sex and then we wonder why women aren’t like, really aggressive about sex. We think it’s cause they don’t have as much desire as we do. That’s how stupid men are, that we think ‘they’re just weird, women are like fucked up in the head cause they don’t wanna just fuck all the time. If I was a women, I’d just fuck everybody. Why don’t they wanna fuck all the time? I do’. Of course you do, cause when you fuck, you get to fuck a woman! When she fucks, she has to fuck a guy! Wildly different experiences. For a man, 100% of the time, it’s the greatest thing that ever happened in his entire life. For a woman, about 40% of the time, when she’s being fucked by a guy, she’s thinking ‘I’ll get over this in a week. It’s not the worst thing. I’m not gonna cry this time’
“Another thing that proves how bad men are at sex is that after sex, you’re looking at two very different people. The man just wants to lay there, be cool and the woman wants to cuddle…’Why is she so NEEDY?’ She’s not needy you idiot, she’s horny, because you did nothing for her. YOU DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. HER PUSSY IS ON FIRE BECAUSE IT’S GONE UNFUCKED COMPLETELY. Of course you’re fine, you climbed on and went “KFHGSKG” and rolled off. And she’s on you because she’s like ‘WH-at SOMETHING ELSE HAS TO HAPPEN, THIS IS BULLSHIT!!” If you fuck a woman well, she will LEAVE YOU ALONE. ‘Thanks a lot buddy, zzzzz’”
I love history.
I live in the past.
I just seem to overlook the mistakes I’ve made in my own.
So that I can avoid them in the future and actually change.
But also like history my life, my mind and my self seem to repeat its self.
growing up is realizing that every single one of your problems is caused by you being a fucking idiot
I still believe in love.
I still know that it is real and obtainable.
I just know you aren’t real.
I know you aren’t obtainable.
And I know you broke my heart.
So if love was there for me
What would I even have to give him?
Sometimes you just have to be forgiving of people’s ignorance.”
if you’re different but you’re genuinely happy with yourself, you’re going to get criticized. an important part of learning to love yourself is developing the thick skin required to deflect ignorance. don’t let what other people say about you have any affect on how you feel about yourself.
your body, your life, your rules.