I’m still angry with you.
I won’t be letting things go super easily and quickly now. You have never even apologized to me or acknowledged your behavior. Just acted like things never happened.
You can’t just pretend things didn’t happen. Grow Up and take responsibility for your behavior good or bad. Haven’t you seen me do so on many occassions when I’ve wronged you?
Showing posts tagged with “personal”
I’m still angry with you.
i’m really motherfucking sick of this fucking cycle and just.
god get the fuck away from me with your bullshit fake charm
and your fucking micropenises.
I just want a rocker dude with a beard and big dick.
who doesn’t mind that I curse like a sailor.
I spent some time with Lola the other night
And I mentioned to her that I seem to be looping in my life I suppose. I was at the lowest point I felt I could possibly reach not 2 months ago. A low point I can compare to when I was 13 and when 8th grade was just too much to handle.
I mentioned I’m going through my cycles that I experienced then and I’m at about the part right before I met my first love.
I wasn’t joking when I said my life repeats itself. I think all of ours do until we find something stable to keep it going in the right direction.
or people just learn from their mistakes and take a different road. i think I’ve been on this same dark road for a while now and i keep missing my chance to turn off. I’m not blaming anyone. This is my own fault.
when i say things i’m weird i’m obsessive i’m clingy i’m crazy i’m over emotional i’m crazy i need to move on i’m obsessed blah blah blah
but when this bitch says crazier shit than me she’s fucking normal and wonderful and cute and hot
suck my imaginary dick
we’re all hypocrites.
No one comes to me because no one needs me.
My dog needs me and sometimes when I feel low like this I convince myself I should stay because of her.
Her and my sister and the few I consider family.
And I know I have no reason to feel so sad and empty.
But the few people of the male persuasion that I’ve chosen to give my love and part of myself to don’t need me. Don’t want me snd would not even notice if I died.
That still hurts even if I’m “over” the three of you. I still dream sometimes about you.
I think what if, what if. And it eats me alive, these daydreams.
I don’t write this bullshit for anyone but myself.
And I’m always secretly hoping the person I’m talking to will somehow read this and see this. Because then they care right?
But if you cared in the first place. I don’t know if I’d even feel the need to even write this.
I really want to meet someone worth my fucking time.
And your condescending tone and your sympathetic “I’m sorry I’m so hot you still want to fuck” or “I’m sorry you’re still in love with me aw hun that’s flattering that’s cute you’ll find someone”
I don’t fucking need you to tell me I’ll find someone. I want to find someone. Even if it’s just someone to fuck because that’s all I want right now. I’m sick of this feeling shit and texting and talking. Fuck me and leave. I’m sick of them all. As far as I’m concerned the only thing I want from a man is his dick. I’ve become bitter. Oh well.
I have become so bitter and cynical about anything related to romance or relationships that I find myself disgusted by it all. Not with other people, just with the idea of it for myself.
I wanna be on your dick.
I’m pretty tired of my job and school and pretty much everything in my life.
I can’t seem to ever have things together. If I were to take a picture of my room, people might cry. It’s disgustingly filthy and I’m either too tired or working or going to school to even clean it.
And when I do get the motivation to clean it, 30 minutes in I am almost falling on my bed in excruciating pain because of my back. Thank you, fucking doctors. No, it’s not better. I don’t care about anything else, I can walk and exercise just fine without pain but if I start bending down to do house work or chores just picking up shit, I want to cry. Like what the mother fucking shit.
And I am so tired of hearing about all this healthy bullshit from everything. Every bitch at my work is on a perpetual diet when they’re all like stick thin. Always complaining about something or another and I just want to punch them. How is it you’re complaining about ONLY LOSING 4 pounds in a week when you’ve done nothing but cut soda from your diet or whatever. Like just shut up. I can’t lose weight for shit. No matter how hard I try, no matter what I do, doesn’t work. But nope, nothing’s wrong with me. I just have to do it. Well fuck you it’s not fucking doing anything no matter how much I do it!
Mostly the biggest thing bothering me is my room, I want to cry. And I need new clothing for spring/summer which is here because this is fucking Florida and it’s 80 degrees already. Fuck.
I don’t have the money for these new clothes I absolutely NEED because I have nothing. And what I do have looks just awful on me. I’m going to hate my body, that’s not going to change. I’ve accepted it. But I can at least try to look fucking decent in it and feel semi good about myself.